Comments on: How to Avoid being Torpedoed at Work http://managingconflict.com/blog/how-to-avoid-being-torpedoed-at-work Conflict Management Strategies Thu, 28 Aug 2008 05:12:43 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0 by: Carol http://managingconflict.com/blog/how-to-avoid-being-torpedoed-at-work#comment-5 Wed, 19 Dec 2007 18:48:28 +0000 http://managingconflict.com/blog/how-to-avoid-being-torpedoed-at-work#comment-5 Ouch! I do love your response. What I find so interesting is this...what did that person expect you to do with that feedback at that time? Stop and engage in a discussion while you are conducting a workshop. This is what I call "drive by" feedback. You get hit and don't have any meaningful time to reflect or respond. Even if the guy was trying to help...the feedback timing was horrible. A take away is this: if you want to give feedback determine an opportune time for the person to hear the feedback. I also liked your graceful way of handling that smack in the face. I am curious though if he felt shut down by your response (even if he did deserve it). If something like this happens again do you think that you might invite him to talk to you at the end of the day? Ouch! I do love your response. What I find so interesting is this…what did that person expect you to do with that feedback at that time? Stop and engage in a discussion while you are conducting a workshop. This is what I call “drive by” feedback. You get hit and don’t have any meaningful time to reflect or respond.

Even if the guy was trying to help…the feedback timing was horrible. A take away is this: if you want to give feedback determine an opportune time for the person to hear the feedback.

I also liked your graceful way of handling that smack in the face. I am curious though if he felt shut down by your response (even if he did deserve it). If something like this happens again do you think that you might invite him to talk to you at the end of the day?

]]> by: Carol Schillios http://managingconflict.com/blog/how-to-avoid-being-torpedoed-at-work#comment-4 Wed, 19 Dec 2007 15:13:27 +0000 http://managingconflict.com/blog/how-to-avoid-being-torpedoed-at-work#comment-4 Thank you for sharing so candidly! Oh how I relate to your comment! It helps so much when someone of your caliber shares openly. My similar experience happened just after I introduced myself (the coordinator didn't make it in time and asked that I introduce myself). The person handed me a note just as I began with a small group exercise. It said something about how I had "lost him right from the start because of the way I introduced myself". I remember staring dumbfounded at the note. My body took over and somehow my fingers folded the note, handed it back and from my mouth came the words, "interesting feedback". Just imagine, the poor fellow stayed the whole workshop. Like you, I examined if the feedback had merit. I typically stay factual in my introduction and can't imagine at what he took offense. I am fascinated that all these years later, though I think I "let it go", the memory of the sting from those type of comments still piques. Thank you for sharing so candidly! Oh how I relate to your comment! It helps so much when someone of your caliber shares openly. My similar experience happened just after I introduced myself (the coordinator didn’t make it in time and asked that I introduce myself). The person handed me a note just as I began with a small group exercise. It said something about how I had “lost him right from the start because of the way I introduced myself”. I remember staring dumbfounded at the note. My body took over and somehow my fingers folded the note, handed it back and from my mouth came the words, “interesting feedback”. Just imagine, the poor fellow stayed the whole workshop. Like you, I examined if the feedback had merit. I typically stay factual in my introduction and can’t imagine at what he took offense. I am fascinated that all these years later, though I think I “let it go”, the memory of the sting from those type of comments still piques.

]]> by: Jeanette http://managingconflict.com/blog/how-to-avoid-being-torpedoed-at-work#comment-3 Thu, 08 Nov 2007 00:01:44 +0000 http://managingconflict.com/blog/how-to-avoid-being-torpedoed-at-work#comment-3 Well done. How many times do we forget to ask "is this really about me" before we respond. It is part of not getting triggered by other people's stuff. Well done. How many times do we forget to ask “is this really about me” before we respond. It is part of not getting triggered by other people’s stuff.

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