A colleague just sent me a link to a CNN article that says employees are too afraid to take vacation-because they are afraid that during any time away from work their employer will discover that the job can be done with out them. (Here is the link )

Fear has taken hold-the Monkey Brain has taken over. The Monkey Brain is that part of us where the fear response lives. The Monkey Brain engages and creativity dies, logic dies, freak-outs thrive.

So what can you do? Simple. Tame the Monkey.

The Monkey Brain is triggered by threats. In the working world that is down turns in the economy, lay off’s, performance reviews, restructuring, escalating tension, cut-backs, mergers, and bankruptcies.

I find that the common denominator is a feeling of lack of meaningful control and a sense of “I don’t know what I can do here!!!!!!” This feeling of lack of control often hides behind “IT’s NOT FAIR!!!”

Have honest conversations.

Name the elephant in the room.

It is OK to tell people that you don’t know or that you aren’t at liberty to tell them

No one really knows everything that is  going on.  Do your best to share what information you can.   Avoid-like the plague-speculating.  It doesn’t help and only serves to increase tension.

Ask people what they would like to have happen. They may not know or what they want is not with in your power to deliver.  Just get folks to start talking.   It is your best Monkey taming technique.

If you want more tips- please visit www.managingconflict.com and check out the enews archive page for articles and action tools.

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Earlier this month, I was a guest on Denise Rubin’s Radio Program Work Does Matter. It was a great conversation about how to handle workplace conflict, the definition of “hackles”, and tactics that work. Give it a listen via the Work Does Matter Web site. Tell me what you think. Really. I know that some of you do have differenct opinions.

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The causes of work place conflict are there- You just need to know what to look for

The International Association of Business Communication   asked me to contribute to their CW Bulletin: Effective Conflict Management.    There are some great article there by folks, like me, who are geeks for conflict.

I chose to write on teh Top 10 (Hidden) Sources of Workplace Conflict.  Here is an excerpt of the article. For the full article check out the CW Bulletin.

“The best internal communication systems can break down. The top performers can be a pain when they  push for their own agendas and timelines.  Even the “Best Places to Work” suffer from workplace conflict.  Unless the hidden sources that cause and escalate the tension and conflict are addressed, bad things happen:  conflict escalates; people suffer; managers lose credibility; business suffers.
The pain of unresolved conflict can be avoided – but only if the source of the conflict is addressed. Here are the Top 10 hidden escalators of conflict at work, how to recognize them, and what to do about them.”

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Join me on June 3 at 3 pm Pacific time.  I will be the guest of Larry Kaminer, President of The Personal Safety Training Group (www.personalsafetygroup.com )for Blog Talk Radio Live Call in Program Managing Conflict in the Workplace. We will talk about:

Early recognition of tension, conflict, and potential violence in the workplace and the impact of gender on workplace conflict and resolution. Cool stuff that you really need to know.

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Yes, conflict is contagious! Suprised? I will bet not. Emotion is contageous. As contageous as a yawn or the Swine Flu.

You can’t be responsible for someone else’s happiness or anger. You can only be responsible for yourself BUT you can take a tempurature of the emotional environment of your workplace.

Are people laughing? Are people talking about each other or to each other? Is there something in place to help people handle stress?

Here is my advice.

Ask yourself these questions:

How am I doing with this work environment–really?

What is really freaking me out?

What am I disappointed with?

Would my co-workers or boss agree with me or would they describe me differently?

What one thing can I do to help me make it to lunch? To the end of the day? To the end of the week?

Then- seek out others just to say hello and how is it going. If you are concerned, share your concern then share what you are doing to make it through the day.

Why? Because unless the GIANT Pink Elephant in the room is addressed it will grow and suck the life force out of everyone. The result is that the conflict s.unless identified and addressed the emotional climate will worsen.

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8. It takes an average of 2.5 times a person’s salary to find a replacement. Sharon Jordan Evans, Love ‘Em or Lose ‘Em

9. Companies that have a thriving employee recognition strategy are more profitable – outperforming S&P 500 companies by 30-40%. Contented Cows Give Better Milk

www.recognitionworks.net

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I am always amazed of people’s need to be “Right” and how the need to be “Right” impedes the process of problem solving. So why is it that we want to resolve conflict but hold on so tightly to being “Right” and explaining the “Rightness” of our position with so much righteousness that we escalate the argument?

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