I admit it. I love, love, love reality TV. Project Runway, The Apprentice, Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares, The Amazing Race, The Next Food Network Star. I spend every Sunday catching up on the trauma and drama of people fighting to make it to the top or stay out of the bottom.

Why do I love these shows that glorify malfunction, back biting, and nastiness? Because as someone who dives into others conflict all the time, it is like Jane Goodall observing the chimps.

What is good for ratings and interesting entertainment is actually horrid for the workplace. Through shows like the Apprentice, Hell’s Kitchen, and Project Runway naive people are learning everything not to do to be successful at work.

Teamwork? No way! Look out for number one. Respectful communication? Nope. Snipe and gossip. Conflict resolution skills? Forget it!

One lesson that is spot on..if you mess with someone, they will not forget and will try and take you down.

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Trouble sleeping this week? Workplace stress might be the culprit. The September issue of Body and Soul magazine cites a University of Michigan study found that “people who often feel hassled on the job were more likely to develop sleep problems. In fact”, says Body and Soul, “everyday struggles with coworkers seem to disrupt sleep even more than long hours, night shifts, or job insecurity.”

Yep. I have experienced that. And still experience disrupted sleep when work pressure (often self-imposed) increases. Anyone else experience this? Maybe the better question is “has anyone experienced you as cranky, ill-tempered, abrupt, even snarky because you were stress and sleep deprived. Do I even need to say how that will not help you career advancement? Did you even recognize that you weren’t at your best or did someone point it out to you? How did you recover?

While I am no expert on sleep, I do know that tired = cranky and non productive. If you need some resources to address sleep check out the articles on Body and Soul on sleep. If you would like more info on how to address the tension check out the Enews archive. (You may want to check out the H.A.L.T. Article inparticular). To hear a a newscast on the U of Michigan report click here.

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We often think about conflict as something to be avoided. Unfortunately we do get caught up in the trauma and drama of the workplace and can’t figure out how to get out of the mess-without more trauma, drama and mess.

Well, I just read this great article in the October issue of Pink Magazine (for a FREE trial issue go to www.pinkmagazine.com). The article Diamond Deal by Tiffany Meyers. Don’t be put off by what looks like a bad ad for a pyramid scheme jewelry franchise. The article has some concrete tips on how to get deals done. These tips are readily transferable to how to address tough situation at work.

There are 5 main categories that provide 21 tips. Here are my top 5 of those 21 tips.

1. Listen to Learn-Since much of the information you need isn’t on the surface, get comfortable reading between the lines.
2. Thinking Past the Handshake-In the heat of the moment, when emotion might otherwise cloud judgment, return to the objectives you’ve identified as important.
3. Maintaining Perspective- Acknowledge strong emotions if they crop up-but don’t let them drive decisions.
4. Calling for Backup-Understand that you’ll probably never have all the information you want or feel that you need.
5. Setting the Tone- Know what the other side stands to gain from the deal, Once you understand that , negotiations are easy.

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